| the holidays always suckk |
[26 Dec 2004|11:09am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Gwen S. |
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My family is the BEST famiily I could ask for.. .and they're the best present every christmas. Everything else can suck balls cuz i hate christmas, and it's stupid meaning. It's nothing but everyone running around like chickens with their head cut off trying to impress everyone with their little gifts, why the fuck are we even getting gifts we're noone speical and it's not cuz of "jesus birthday", since when do you give everyone at YOUR BIRTHDAY party presents? yeahh.. i dont get it. I did get a lot of stuff though, and it look great stuffed in my closet, maybe next year people will listen when I say, I DONT WANT anything. Marc did try and make my "christmas a little better" and i spent half and half with him and his family then with my family over at the big sisters house, she's buying a way bigger house now all way fuck up there... but she's letting me rent out the "casita" so that's pretty sweet. anyway... I'm seeing a movie today w/ the boyfriend then i'm headed off to clean my mess of a "room".. i dont know what the fuck that is. It looks like an old dirty ass play room i use to have, but anyhow... yeah.
Oh .. and yeah.. Happy New year... a time to get drunk off their asses
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| booored. |
[06 Dec 2004|04:59pm] |
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So I went to school did a bunch of make up tests or whatever. always exciting. Went tanning after, then headed off to the mall. Got some new lotion and spray. some body scrub. a belt, and new belt buckle. new stuff always good, n marc also got me a bracelet and necklace. He's beeen so weird lately. I almost hate being around him, but I can't help but just run back to him. He treats his stupid ass friend alex like 100x better than he does me, wtf, i hate that kid with a passion i swear i hate him more than a specific cow... anyhow... yeah he needs to go G O. haha okay but i feel a little better now that i talked to marc's mom for like 30 minutes, or more.. i dunno it felt like forever though we said a lot. she's such a sweetie and i love her so much. She goes through the same stuff that I go through and she deserves so much better, i complained about marc and she did too, she sees the same things that ai see. i wish he would just go back to the same little dollface he always was. okay well i dunno what else to say, i'm feeling better. i'm gonna go now.
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[02 Dec 2004|06:19pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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Cierra - One Two Step |
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I dont know if it's possible to feel so lucky, yet the unluckiest of the unlucky at the same time. I have everything I could ever want, but it feels... empty. I got a car, a good family, a couple of bff's, a boyfriend, yet sometimes i sit back and i wonder to myself...it's there but there's nothing behind it. I feel so uncomfortable with my dad, though we're close, but I don't know what to do. He expects too much from me, my sister and I aren't really close anymore my mom & other sister... i dont even know. I feel like i'm losing my boyfriend</3. He almost forgets everything we've been through together and the great and wonderful moments i've had with him. and my couples of best friends, are awesome and all, i just can't find it in my heart to trust anyone anymore, you feel like you've known them since kids or maybe a long time and they'd backstabb you and become a sell out. Everyone is so flakey around here. I dont even know what to do anymore. I love my car, but i need to take care of it so much to trade it in in 2 years, so i dont really enjoy it because im watching the miles i put into it so closely, and i'm trying to keep it clean 24 7... never dirty. still smells new. i dont know. I can't breathe anymore.. .i'm in this little corner trying to just get a breath of air, and i'm just getting closed in more and more. I want to get away and get away from everything.... I'm tired of this. I've had enough of shit happen to me in past few years of my life, i dont need a repetion.
Fuck. I need to get away from this city and the flakiness.
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[21 Nov 2004|05:33pm] |
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Now in the Bible it says
Thou shalt not watch two lesbians in bed,
Have homosexual sex
Unless of course you were given the consent to join in
Then of course, it's intercourse
And it's bi-sexual sex
Which isn't as bad, as long as you show some remorse for your actions
Either before, during or after peforming the act of that which
Is normally referred to have such, more commonly known phrases
That are more used by today's kids
In a more derogatory way but
Who's to say, what's fair to say, and what not to say?
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[31 Oct 2004|04:47pm] |
I miss my car. I hate taking the bus everywhere. I miss being single. I hate always being in a relationship. I miss going out and doing things, i hate being stuck in the house doing homework all the time...
Whats today?
Halloween.... and what am i doing? homework. I love how hard i am working and how miserable I am at the same time.... but oh well. I fixed the problem, now i need to keep it up and get the hell out of this city.
Happy Halloween and be safe!
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| las vegas = hell |
[21 Oct 2004|04:56pm] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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I hate this town more and more everyday. I feel like I'm in one of those movies where theres a kid whose been living in this town his whole life and it's so small and everyone and their mom know each other and he is just dying to get out... you'd be considered a loser if you still stayed in that town... well that's how las vegas is. You'd be crazy to fucking want to stay here for the rest of your life, if i need to work my ass off more than ever to get out of here, I will. I hate this place and i hate almost everyone here... fuck. This place fucking sucks. Nothing happend to me, i just seriously hate this place.
The day I leave, I have a peice of mind and a little gift for like 4 different individuals who just fucked a lot of shit up.... i got a lot in mind for you.
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| who wants to play some FOOOOTTBALL |
[18 Oct 2004|01:56pm] |
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mood |
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 crazy |
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So we lost power puff... it's okay no sweat. 2 more games. i was thinking how cool it would be to have a group of girls play FULL ON TACKLE football once every week, or once every 2 weeks... it'd be fun. I'm really starting to enjoy this whole football thing. My goal is to get a bunch of girls interested and let some aggression out in a good game of football<3 u know im here if your interested.
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[09 Oct 2004|01:32pm] |
Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
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| ::edit:: |
[09 Oct 2004|10:44am] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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Things better change or I'll be droping your ass off on the curb.
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[03 Oct 2004|10:02pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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N.E.R.D |
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Happiness is something you can't really look for, or else you'll never find it. You think your happy around someone, and later you find out it's a big lie. It's hard to take in, but I can't say that I dont care anymore. I'm use to being screwed over, I dont have close friends and i've been happy that way. I rarely even talk to people but my boyfriend. Which i feel like I've made a huge mistake by doing that. I feel like i've been putting all my energy into one person and I dont get anything back when I need help getting over something. What am I wasting my time fixing everyone else's life, but my own. I have my own problems, and I know i dont ever talk about them anymore, i thought I could just keep quiet and they'd go away. But it just gets worse and worse everyday. I want to get away and have some fun. I can't wait till i get my car, i can just get away from everyone and everything. I need it. I have A LOT .. of guys right now who want to be with me and like me and I dont know why I am still with this boy. Why do i feel the need to always be with someone? I think i'm afriad of being alone, who knows. everything heals within time. and I have a feeling i will get over this by tomorrow.... whatever. i vented wether it made sense or not.
I'll write about the camping trip tomorrow or whatever. Night
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[26 Sep 2004|12:15pm] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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music |
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something on the radio. |
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Leave the hair growin long or chop it off short like before? Tough.
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| I hate being sick </3 |
[25 Sep 2004|11:34am] |
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mood |
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sick |
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music |
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new eminem song. |
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I'm assuming out of "guilt" my dad baught me this labtop and I got the internet again. I miss not working. I'm so use to having something to do ALL the time. I never had any free time. Oh well. I can't comprehend how half the kids in all of my classes are failing. It's wayy too soon to fail. I'm making all A's! I'm actually doing good in school. I'm surprised I got my stuff together.
Monday I got soccer practices, or "intermerrals" however you spell it, or want to call it. I'm nervous and dreading it as of right now, I got the worst cold from Marc. </3. The last couple of days at the gym have been a drag, I keep pushing myself too hard and end up hurting myself real bad.. .i can't barely walk right now. I am also going crazy having my dad drive me everywhere!
Over the summer the Acura got stolen. I'll never get over that i dont think, then my dad rented me a car for 3-4 weeks and just 2 weeks ago I ran into a pole on Pecos and Russell and totaled it. I was told it was about 4-5 G's worth of damage. I have no car right now. My dad keeps procastinating taking me to the auction with him to buy a new car. They have some pretty good cars. He was thinking if we're not moving anytime sooner than we thought (because of the hurricanes and such) He'll just go to the dealer ship and get a new car, but I don't think i want one anymore. I have bad luck with accidents and cars being stolen it seems, this Lancer i was driving for the first week got crashed by me backing into ANOTHER pole. I havent gotten in an accident with another person yet, thank god.
I miss my mom like crazy. She's in Panama and right now she's in Cuba for a few days doing some stuff for my dad and giving out things for the family out there. She'll be back october 9th. I can't wait to see her again. I realized how much i miss the little things, like how the house always smells good, hearing her voice every morning when she woke me up... how she'd be there for me when i got in trouble and even yell at me. I miss her so much... i miss her talking on the phone arguing with the cell phone cocmpany with her bad english. This house is a disaster with out her. I realize i couldn't live without my mom, I love her so much.
My dad decided to put the chickens we have in our backyard in their damn bathroom and they've pooped everywhere and it made the hallways and his room smell like shit. I dont know how he can lay in his bed and smell that. I'd be puking my guts out all night. ew.
Anyways Im done writing in this thing i dont think i have anything else to say... cept i'm gonna be sick and bored this weekend. Everyone is gone and busy. Marc is going with his brother camping and i'm gonna miss him so much :( oh well.. we need some time apart i guess.
alright. take care everyone.
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[03 Jul 2004|08:44pm] |
God i havent written in this forever! Things are so great in my life and have been since i got away from everything. I got two jobs and they're fucking overwhelming but the $$$ is good. All i ever do is work work work ... i'm thinking about pimpin out the Acura, or just buying a new one with my dad and "pimpin" it... either way my goal is to have the COOLEST fucking car before we move. <3
Boyfriend is WONDERFUL. I'm always here after work ... my life does equal that WORK WORK ... AND BOYFRIEND. Trisha and Jaimie are the best and i couldnt have asked for better friends than them. They've been there for me thru everything and are always FUN to hang out with. Jaimie and I have some weird as moments though ... her crazy ass. yeah
i dont know. I dont know who even reads this dumb shit anymore cuz i sure know i dont read anyone's. hehe ... yeah so im off to go do some stuff. Have a safe fun Fourth Of July!
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[11 Feb 2004|02:09pm] |
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I am the happiest girl in Las Vegas. Hate me even MORE.
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| My Two Cents! |
[27 Jan 2004|07:11pm] |
Instead of writing a 2-page entry.. i'll keep it simple..
If you dont know me, and I mean KNOW me .. for longer than a couple of months, KEEP MY NAME OUT OF UR MOUTH. Dont talk shit ... my buiness isn't your buiness, so dont be nosey.
Thank you, and God Bless.
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[25 Jan 2004|06:33pm] |
NOT SURE IF YOU ALL KNOW BUT NEW LIVEJOURNAL = ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mercedes__
I think I'm breaking out
I"m gonna leave you now
There's nothing for me here it's all the same.
And even though I know
That everything might downhill from here
I am not afraid.
Way away away from here I'll be
Way away away so you can seealone and not believe annnything
You can't stop me now
You can't hold me down
You can't keep here I'm on my way
I made it this far now
And i'm not burning out No matter what you say I'M NOT AFRAID.
way away away from here I'll be
way away away so u can see
HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE AND NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING.
letting out thenoise inside of me
everyday window pane is shattering
cutting up my words before i speak
THIS IS HOW IT FEELS NOT TO BELIEVE
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[06 Jan 2004|08:07pm] |
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Goodbye Everyone <3
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[02 Jan 2004|09:06pm] |
By the way... i got a new lj .. comment andI'll make sure and add you. <3
OH & could someone please help me make a pretty "Friends ONly" Banner... or find me a resource ? I'd appreciate it. <3
thanks.
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[02 Jan 2004|08:48pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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It's nights like these where i just want to lay down & sleep.
I feel lonely and I want someone to call my own ..
but i dont think i want to fall back in that trap.
I just need to go back to school or something. this staying at home thing is getting on my nerves
and the people in las vegas are getting on my nerves...
& my cel phone never rining gets on my nerves... haha
but pish
Life couldn't get better.... besides the boy part... haha but NICOLE AND I ARE COOL AND DONT NEED BOYS!!
hahaha<333
well i'm off .. ciao
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[02 Jan 2004|06:28pm] |
omfg..
out of all the people i'm gonna marry kurtis! I knew it... <3333333
hahaha wow that was weird .. we'd say we'd live in san deigo too! omg.
You will live in Apartment.
You will drive a yellow Escalade.
You will marry Kurtis and have 0 kids.
You will be a surgeon in san diego.
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